30 today…at 9:58 pm

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I can’t help but wonder…what her life would be like now….a young woman stepping into her 30’s…. leaving her 20’s behind.  I had been married for 11 years and had 2 children when I turned 30 yrs old…a “bossy” but smart 5 yr old and an easy-going 3 yr old.  I was a stay at home Mom and loved every minute of it… well, almost every minute…lol.  That is all I ever really wanted to be…a Mom.  But Lauren got a college degree and had a goal of being an event planner and hoped to have her own business one day.  I have no doubt she would have succeeded in that goal.  Would she be living in East Texas, the Hill County or even another  state?  Would she be in a big city or small town?  Would she be married yet…have any children? So many of her good friends are married with children.  Would they be meeting up for play dates and “Mama talk”?  Or would she still be looking for “the one”…but running a successful business and enjoying her life…traveling maybe?  So far she has me beat on the number of countries she has been to.  Would she be calling me up and asking how to make a certain recipe and checking up on her Dad and I?  Would she be arranging a weekend visit with her younger brother…to just hang out or float the Guadalupe River maybe?  Would we be going on family snow skiing trips or cruises or camping still?  She enjoyed our family reunions and seeing the new babies in the group…I know she would still be coming.  Holiday’s would be more fun if she was here…that girl was quick-witted and enjoyed belly laughs.  I know she wouldn’t be too busy to check on her grandparents…by phone or in person.  Would she have short hair or her long, brown, wavy hair?  Would she have put on a few pounds from motherhood or life stresses?  Just so many thoughts and questions running through my head.  I can picture her in so many different scenarios…wish I knew…”for real”…

One thing is for certain her time here on earth was as I hoped for her in her baby book.  She did grown up to be happy, healthy and a loving, caring person who loved life and her Lord.  Happy 30th Birthday Lauren… in Heaven…love you…miss you…20180518_083006-1

Sarah Withem – LHS 2018

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Sarah Withem is our Lufkin High School scholarship recipient this year.  What a lovely young woman…in body and spirit.  Very friendly, warm and open.  She laughed often, has a big, genuine smile and that reminded me of Lauren.  We enjoyed getting to know her after pictures were made.  She is active in her church and helps teach 2nd grade boys…she is brave…lol.  She will be living on campus and plans to join the Baptist Student Union to make more friends and be with other Christian students.  She will be working part-time to help pay for her schooling.  She wants to be a Speech Language Pathologist.

After being notified of the scholarship Sarah wrote a really thoughtful thank you note to us.  In it she said, “I feel very fortunate to have been chosen as the recipient of a scholarship that believes in love, action and faith.  Those three words drive my life, and I admire this foundation for standing behind those concepts.” 20180516_153433-1She took the initiative to look up Lauren, our foundation and learn about us.  Wow…that says a lot about her character and her heart.  I have no doubt we chose well this year.  She is special and her parents should be proud of her…they have raised a lovely, young woman.

The Zoo

I always ask friends and family to perform a Random Act of Kindness (RAK) on March 7th and this year was the 8th Anniversary of Lauren’s passing.  They never fail to accept the mission… to make my heart happy and brighten the day of the person/s who receives their act of love and kindness.  I heard from several friends and the ways they “showed the love” was as unique and various as they are.  Andrea gave homemade peach jam to her co-workers.  Denise put a beautiful plant in her local park.  Elizabeth blew debris off her neighbors driveways and sidewalks.  Ben donated to an organization that helps young mothers and babies.  Can you imagine the smile on the faces of those who benefited from these fabulous acts of kindness and love?  I can.  I know there were more RAK’s that went unspoken, I had some too, and those are just as awesome and special as the ones I heard about.  Thank you all for spreading love and kindness.

 

 

By the time it came to me, on March 7th, it was too late to implement my RAK.  I didn’t make it out to the Ellen Trout Zoo in time before they closed…so I went the next day.  As it turns out it was the perfect day to go.  It was a beautiful, sunny, spring day.  I noticed lots of families, at the zoo, enjoying their outing.  I went to the ticket window and told the young woman there I wanted to pre-pay for some admissions, some RAK’s for people entering the zoo, in memory of my daughter.  She thought that was a wonderful idea and wanted me to write down my name and info so she could tell the Zoo Directors about this.  I told her that I knew them, Charlotte & Gordon Henley, as I had volunteered at the zoo before and my kids participated in camps there.  As I was writing down my info, a family of 3 generations walked up…3 young children, 2 parents and 2 grandparents.  I nodded to the woman that I wanted to pay their admission.  She gave them a total and said it was already paid for by me, in memory of my daughter.  I really didn’t want them to know but it was ok that she told.  They thanked me, said what a great way to honor her memory and gave their condolences.  We chatted a few more minutes and I learned they were from out-of-state.  I took a family picture, inside the zoo, so everyone could be in the shot. (you know from past posts, that it is my “thing” to do for others)  The kids were making “silly faces” and I made a deal with them.  “Let me take two, nice smiling faces… then we could do the silly one”.  It worked and of course the kiddo’s liked the “silly face” picture better because the whole family had a goofy face going on.  I went back to the window and chatted with the woman about Lauren.  There was money left over for more families to enjoy their day at our fantastic little zoo and that made my heart happy.

 

For many years the Ellen Trout Zoo has done educational summer camps for elementary kids, Zoo Safari, to learn about animals and conservation.  I helped with those camps when I was an Active in Jr League and it was one of my favorite “jobs”.  When you are in Jr High you can apply, for a limited number of spots, to be a Jr. Zoo Keeper for a 2 week period during the summer.  The kids get to work with the animals, feed them and go with the staff “behind the scenes” in the habitats.  Both Lauren and Taylor enjoyed participating in both of these programs that the Henley’s started.  They have been Directors at the zoo for over 30 yrs and our zoo has won many awards from their and the staff’s hard work.

Lauren hated bugs/insects that flew… like june bugs, “skeeter eaters”, moths, bumble bees…pretty much any flying bug.  She would run, scream and do anything, including push someone in the bug’s path, to get away from the bug…lol.  In Jr Zookeeper you got to pick two areas you wanted to work in and one of her choices was always the Snake House.  That girl played with snakes, non-poisonous and under supervision,  but was so afraid of flying bugs….go figure….lol.

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Not a snake but a live tarantula in her hand.

 

 

john Arthur martinez

my-tattooSpeaking of music and how it moves me.  We now have a small bungalow in Fredericksburg and we go back and forth between our homes in the Hill Country and the Pineywoods of Texas.  A few weeks ago I went to hear one of my favorite musicians, john Arthur martinez.  (Yes I capitalized his name correctly, read his Bio to see why) He plays about once a month at Fiesta Winery on 290 outside Fredericksburg.  If I’m in town I like to go hear him and his fellow musician, Chris, play and sing.  They both can pick a mean acoustic guitar and Arthur does most of the singing.  I didn’t know much about his Bio except he had several albums and has been playing and singing for many years.  I was trying to find the name of one of his songs, which this story is about, when I learned more about him besides the facts of he can sing, play and writes his own songs.  In 2004, on the TV talent show Nashville Star, he wound up beating Miranda Lambert for second place. He has traveled the world and shared stages with artist from Dwight Yoakam to Elton John…and Emma Lou Harris because he wrote a song about her guitar.

It was a beautiful Sunday afternoon and when I walked up I gave a small wave and Arthur nodded his headat me as he sang.  He knows me by face from being there on several occasions and our small conversations.  He is always friendly and chats with his listeners when he is on breaks.  I was sitting outside listening to the guys and was on the porch area with them but over to the side about 15- 20 ft away.  Most of the tables on the ground were full of people.  I had been listening about 30 minutes when a couple sat down beside me.  Between songs I spoke a sentence or two to them saying how much I enjoy hearing the guys.  They agreed they were both talented.  At times Arthur gives the back story to the song he wrote and is about to sing.  He starts telling how a little while back he was a HS Tennis Coach and one year they had 4 students die in a short period of time.  How hard it was on their classmates, staff and him because he knew these students.  How they were too young to die so tragically.  How he wrote a song for them but used different names.  How he is now finally able to say their real names when he gives the back story to the song.  It’s about spinning their wheels as they are raring to get out of High School and town to “start their life”.  As I’m listening to him speak I start to tear up, it hits me deeply as a parent who lost a 21 yr old daughter.  I can feel the parents pain…I know their anguish.  It hurts me that their lives were cut short like Lauren’s…their potential… gone, the hopes and dreams you have for them…while never come to be…the major milestones in life…gone.  As I listen to him sing I start to frequently wipe the tears from my face.  I know the couple sees me because they have to look past me to see the musicians.  After Arthur finishes his song I look their way and tell them I have never heard him sing that song before.  How it deeply touched me because I had lost my 21 yr old daughter.  They said they thought that might be the reason for the tears because they had seen the tattoo on my leg and how sorry they were for my loss.  We chatted some more before they left to head back home to San Antonio.

Life is precious and short, live it to the fullest.  Don’t take any day for granted because we dont know when our time is up…only God knows that.

 

~~Music~~

Music…. it fills me with many different emotions.  I have had to leave Hobby Lobby because certain Christian songs came on and had me in tears as they spoke to me.  I can be listening to Sirius Radio and a Bread song comes on…it makes me smile most of the time.  It brings back memories of Lauren stealing…uhhhm taking…my Bread CD.  How many of you know that group?  Believe me when I went in the stores looking for Bread’s Greatest Hits CD none, yep none, of the young workers had heard of them…lol.  Lauren liked music from her Dad and mine younger days as well as her “time”.  From us she liked Steely Dan, one of those CD’s went missing too, America, James TaylorThe Doobie Brothers, ABBA and Tom Petty are a quick few that come to mind.  From her time I can’t hear “Drops of Jupiter” without singing parts of the song and wonder what she is doing in Heaven….is she seeing the same moon, stars and milky way as us?

Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet

Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day

And head back to the Milky Way

And tell me, did Venus blow your mind

Was it everything you wanted to find”

The song “Snake Farm” makes me laugh.  The first I heard of it was in New Braunfels.  In the summers we went camping on the Guadalupe River and we passed the Snake Farm there.  She started singing part of the song...”Snake farm it just sounds nasty, snake farm it just sounds meeeann”… and we all started laughing.  On that trip and from then on she would just starting saying the line out of the blue and make us all laugh… good memories.  Now her Dad will say it out of the blue and we smile and laugh.

She liked to hear “live music” as well.  She came to see us in Fredericksburg, while we staying in our RV, about 5 months before she passed.  The weather was great and we went to Luckenbach to hear the McKay Brothers, who had played for our 25th Anniversary Party in 2008.  It was a special, memorable day all round.  And the first time we went back after she had passed, we wrote “RIP Lauren Alston 3-7-10” with a black Sharpie pen on the wooden picnic table where we had all sat, with tears in our eyes.

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Lauren with Hollin McKay of the McKay Brothers, in Luckenbach, Tx in Nov 2009

 

 

Carollei Elizabeth

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I was recently contacted by private message from a high school friend of Lauren’s.  Her name is Meghan and she is expecting a baby girl in September.  She wanted to know if it was alright with me if she used Lauren’s middle name for her daughter’s middle name.  She wanted to name her at least in part after her friend.  I was surprised and said what an honor that would be.

Meghan said “Lauren was one of the most beautiful people I have ever known.  I couldn’t see naming her without involving Lauren somehow…Baby girls name will be Carollei Elizabeth.”  I told her the first name was unique and beautiful.  Meghan said she combined two family names to make it.

She went on to say, “I think of her almost every day.  I don’t know if you have kept up with what’s gone on with me, if not I don’t blame you, but the same year we all lost Lauren, I also lost my son to a bad birth defect. The one thing that gave me comfort over the last seven years is knowing Eric is with Lauren laughing and smiling… Heck me and Camille, (another friend) came to the conclusion that Lauren liked him too much and kept him.”  I told her I had not known about Eric and how sorry I was that she too had lost a child.  She never got the chance to hold him and get to know him, like I did with Lauren, but the loss is still great.

She went on to say the other day she had found a picture of her and Lauren from the Renaissance Festival from years ago.  It was blurry but she put it up on her memory board because… “that was one of the best days ever….well for me it was, Lauren ended up getting really sick from eating shrimp at the food court.”  She said it was after they got back and late that night they called us to come get her.  I don’t remember this so it was probably her Dad who went after her.  Meghan said, “Sorry I just remember saying… bro I told you to eat turkey legs and sausage…you got brave and ate shrimp…you did this to yourself…lol“…. and then… Lauren replied something I can’t write.  I can just see and hear those two having that conversation in my head….sounds just like them…lol.   They are both funny and quick witted.

 Meghan went on to tell me some things she learned from Lauren; how to jump up and click her heels together, how to not take the bullcrap from other kids who were being jerks to her in school, how to be kind.  That Lauren had brought her out of her shell and she had taught her more than anyone else in her life.  I was humbled and blown away by her words and tears started falling.  I told her she always had those things in her that Lauren just helped her bring it to the surface.

She replied, “I know, but Lauren saw them in me and helped me realize how awesome I actually am.”

I told her that her words made me cry and she said she didn’t mean to do that.

I said “I know that but your words are so touching. You want your child to be good and kind to others. To know the impact she had on others makes me proud and that her life was worthwhile and she showed God’s love to others. She wasn’t perfect but she was a pretty good kid and I miss her terribly.”

She said that Lauren helped make her who she was and that Carollei was named after 3 strong, important women in her life.  Meghan said “that it would probably make her headstrong, opinionated and a little bit goofy” but she was coming to terms with the fact she would probably have a bull-headed child.

Hmmmm…sounds familiar…I will pray for her.  ; )  : )

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Cristina Williams ~ LHS 2017

Met Cristina Williams our recipient for Lufkin High School 2017.  We enjoyed getting to know Cristina during “picture time” before the awards ceremony.  She is a very quite, respectful young lady…matter of fact I think we scared her with how talkative and loud we can be…but she got used to us peppering her with questions and our laughter.   She is in the LHS band and plays the clarinet and is thinking of trying for the SFA Band.  She is already a CNA and has plans to work her summers and then concentrate on school during the semesters.  Her family has had some health issues and that has steered her toward her chosen path.  She is going to start the Pre-Med program and major in Biology from there she wants to go to Baylor and become an Anesthesiologist.  She then wants to come back to work in Lufkin and to also start a youth program to help keep kids on track to achieve their goals and dreams.

Here is part of her thank you note:

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Bryan Alston,  

It is an honor to receive the Lauren Alston Memorial Scholarship.  Mr and Mrs Alston I thank you from the bottom of my heart.  I understand how important this scholarship is and I promise that the name Lauren Alston will forever live with me, as I attend SFA, in this cruel yet beautiful world.  I am glad you gave me the chance to achieve my goals.  I thank you for lifting this financial burden that almost stopped me from pursuing my dreams.  I thank you for putting your faith in me.  It is good to know that there are good and kind people still left in the world. 

So once again I thank you, Cristina Williams